As a musician, the loss of Luciano Pavorotti is profound…and, in truth, was experienced the day that he stopped singing. That he suffered through pancreatic cancer also saddens me. We are each so very human. Here he was, larger than life, his voice reaching the hearts of those who may never have liked the music…but, ultimately, it was the voice of gold. Then, here now, we find that he was most human, his voice residing in a vulnerable body whose life-time warranty had come due.

I wonder about that vulnerablity and how many losses we experience, where the voices are silenced and the legacy left is in our memory, only living in our action and thought. My Dad had a booming voice and laugh. He was silenced long before we lost him, suffering the toll of age and poor health, worsened by his awareness of the one-way street of life. My mother, Beatrice Mazer, who died in 1983, was slienced so young…and before I could have recorded her. She died so fast, she did not know she died. That still comforts me for some reason.

I was also saddened when Peter Jennings died. He was part of my life for years, now silenced. Recently, saxophonist, Michael Brecker was lost to cancer..at 51. We recently watched an older Joanie Mitchell recording…and there he was, larger than life, young, brilliant, and innocent…

I also grieved when King Hussein died, a voice of reason and peace, silenced. I grieved when Iztak Rabin died. I remain in wonder as to how the world would look had John F. Kennedy lived to join AARP. I also know that those whose opinions challenged all that I believe in still live within me. Richard Nixon…whose opening of China and establishment of the EPA remains overshadowed by his overt attack on democratic process and extension of the Vietnam War for his own ends.

Clearly, it is left to me, speaking for myself, to live as if they were each whispering in my ear… to make their lives and their unknowing impact on me alive in all that I do. But, far from having to be world famous, those in my world who have touched me and for any reason have left the immediate circle of contact, remain a living voice within me.

I then wonder the legacy of my own words and actions. Not so much from ego, but from accountability. You know, the pebble in the water. Like it or not, our words and actions resound and reverberate long after we forget what we did. It could be frightening…or could be the reality of how it is. But, more than this, I wonder if the young minds that are growing right now, the future leaders…and if the real task is to ensure that their voices are heard, that their questions and doubts reverberate around us all.

Yes, I miss Pavorotti. But, I can hear him again and again. It is the Pavorotti in each of us, unsung, un-recognized, and without voice that is the most profound loss.

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